The Spirit of Giving

Finished.

Two thousand eight is now behind us, the end of the millennium's first decade. I have just returned from an unusual New Year's Celebration, arriving at a DC club with only ten minutes left of the year to prepare. The dj didn't even give the people fair warning, as only the observant Asians were paying attention to Ryan Seacrest on TV and the countdown to 2009. But surrounded by only a few friends and relatives, standing in a sea of colored skin, I was able to enjoy myself and the fact that a new year has started its imprint into our fragile little lives.

So what do I have to look forward to? Well, as per protocol, I rang in the new year single. As sad as it may look, this doesn't bother me. It's Valentines' Day that I worry about. Luckily, I have two months remaining in that endeavor. Must not get too hasty, though! The good thing about this is (and always a good thing) is that I still can afford me. I can make my single independent pay and enjoy what I want to do when I want at my own expense. For that, I am grateful. Sometimes, even when I think my sibling stares at me as if I was a giant walking dollar sign, I chuckle a bit.

Because I am still able to give to others, I still have an opportunity to send an easy dollar or two to the family I never get to see. We finally figured out the webcam here at home and to see all of their young faces (about 10 of them at a time it seems, most under the age of 5), I feel lucky that I can still contribute to my own relatives. Plus, this Christmas, my very own cousin Karen decided to start a mass email to all the Rigos-Rigos which will, in fact, make us even closer and aware of who we all are. Facebook (thank god for that) started most, but to figure out how our enormous family tree works, we now have the resources to find out more about people who are very far away from us.

So, with 2009 now here, my goal is to remain frugal as ever, thinking of others instead than myself, and to learn to let things take its course. I cannot control most things, so rather than not allowing others to learn for themselves, I must do the opposite. 2009 will also be the year of the "other"... in more ways than one.

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

i'm waiting the day
my mascara is smeared
but for some reason it doesnt change
its time to cry in the rain
running my hands through
i've memorized your fingertips
but for some reason it doesnt change
its time to cry in the rain
could you give me my sword
you'll have the shield
then stars will shoot down from the sky
running i'll come through your window
and we'll dance
in a reverie i see
it'll be just you and me
and the promise i take will be bliss
for to these are just sands
passing only of glass
and i cant realize where i'm going

Surgery Season

I finally did it! I got my eyes fixed with PRK (Photorefractive Keratectomy).



Drops drops and drugs.... a speculum kept my eye lid open, a patch on the idle eye. I stared a blinking red light while they brushed, sponged, lasered, watered, and lensed my poor, defenseless eye.

The difference between getting LASIK and PRK is that LASIK requires less recovery time and a flap is cut on the surface of the eye which heals faster. In PRK, they use a brush (picture a Sonicbrush, you know, the toothbrush) to scrape away and make the distance of light from the back of my retina to the cornea shorter. Then after that abrasion, its to heal over time, a little longer than LASIK. The Aviation Navy grounds me for a minimum of 3 months as opposed to 2 weeks in LASIK. However, I couldn't get LASIK because it still isn't approved for aviators due to the lack of research study for its effect on visual acuity. So.. PRK it was.

As painless as this procedure was, I am still waiting for the worst to come. I wasn't sensitive to light right away coming out of the laser suite, but as the numbing drops and Percocet faded, I felt more and more the stinging pain on my eyes. Fantastic. They give me 4 days until they take the shielding contact lenses. I only hope I can survive until then. I have to say its been pretty cool having a caregiver watch over me and drive me when I'm drugged. It was such a beautiful day too, and the sun turned into an enemy :( I like this not wearing glasses thing... I just can't wait to be off of the eye drops. I absolutely hate taking medicine.

I have to be pretty ridiculous to be on here looking at a screen, but good thing I don't need my eyes to type now don't I? It's ok, because... "I wear my sunglasses at night so I can so I can..."

**edit**
2 Days after the surgery... I forgot the initial reason I had named this blog Surgery Season was because this entire week, my grandfather had just had a heart attack that required a triple bypass surgery (of which he thankfully survived) and my cousin was also up against what turned out to be a prolactinoma -- benign tumor in the pituitary gland, again, thankfully she didn't have to undergo surgery.

As for me, I am bored just trying to close my eyes all day, and my body isn't made for sleeping all the time EVEN WITH narcotic drugs... I'd much rather be awake doing something. I lie awake in the wee hours of the morning wishing it was already breakfast time. My roommate left for the weekend to enjoy Seattle and the Patriots-Seahawks game as well, of that I'm a bit jealous having to sit around and do practically nothing. My friend Rebecca was cool enough to remember my love for fried chicken and she brought over a bucket of KFC to enjoy with me before I would drug again and go to sleep.

Tonight I'm headed back across the ferry with my caregiver Shannan... we are going to stay in Bremerton, WA tonight to make sure I get to my post-op appointment on time. They will hopefully then remove the bandage contact lens from my eyes and I can work on healing the corneal abrasion merely by blinking a lot. It will be a step back as far as vision goes for a day, but then hopefully I'll be back to driving/cooking/living mode soon after.

Gotta love modern technology, eh?