Embracing and letting go.
That is how I go through life. That is how the seasons change. That's how I am able to write these moments down. In 2006, there was still quite a bit of letting go and embracing to do, and still need to do, to be ready for when the 2007 slowly unravels itself upon us.
I went to church today, like any other Sunday, with my family. We have managed to attend this church for five years (and counting) and managed to escape parish registration. So we aren't really involved in any other way but mass attendance. today though, was an extra full day in the church and sitting in the pew ahead of me was a boy who looked vaguely familiar, but about two feet taller than last I saw him before. I asked my sister to make sure that this was the same choir boy who sang solo as a cantor. He had the most angelic voice and I really enjoyed having him sing. Away at college for 4 years, I only heard him during winter break and some summers. At this mass, another lady had taken over the job and really didn't give it much justice. When that lady sang, I witnessed in the boy's face the same expression (and I suppose feeling) I had when the fall semester at Virginia Tech started and I sat within the congregation for the first time, rather than up front at the piano. I was struggling to let go and embrace this new group of musicians--and realize that it's just the same when I walked into the dorms after the Corps New Cadet Parade. All my freshmen were cadre now and my juniors... well, they wore the gold VPI.
2006 marked an era that I will never forget. I took the most photos. I went through some new living accommodations and I finally experienced hardship in relationships. I think you will tend to fight for those when you think they are worth fighting for, right? But my problem was, and is, learning to realize when you have to throw in the towel. I learned a lot this year, from a lot of people, and in that I even learned about myself. But truth is, even though it didn't seem or feel like I had a mask on--and I claimed I didn't--I, in fact, did. It was only when I took off that mask I did the soul-searching business. This year, i've got to change that. With a new change of scenery, and new friends, I've got that window of opportunity.
My family is still changing. It's growing and I don't think can keep track of all my new cousins in the Philippines. I'm glad that now I've got a couple who have finally got the approved "OK" to transfer to California. A couple of days ago I read the preteens' myspaces and it seemed that they embraced the American culture a little too quickly. Just from these personal webpages, I now have the impression that they were spoiled way too soon. I understand that this is the way of life they have wanted for so long, and the way their parents wanted it. All they could do before was dream it and see it on television. They yearned and they got it. But they still left behind the relatives they played with and saw everyday. 12 years younger. Now one group of kids is halfway across the world, buying new Nikes and sporting new iPod skins while the other group is still playing ball in the streets and watching games on TV rather than actually playing them on their own console. All I wish is that they don't forget where they come from and who still needs them. Iriga City was hit with a serious typhoon which swept the ash remains from the nearby volcano down through the cities and towns in the surrounding area. We heard of one town being completely destroyed. A Herculaneum and Pompeii story if you ask me--but the area is so poor, it wasn't as big in the news. I'm glad my parents still remember. They did a medical mission this summer that's been planned for years, and we contribute hundreds of bags of rice to the typhoon victims. For me, the year 2007 means a big change. It's a change in dependency, and a time of personal exploration. Hoping to wake up each day ready to live it with a purpose--as A pool would have it so difficult to do. But I'm going to give it a try.
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