Short, brief, but bittersweet

Whew.... I've had my break and then hit Reattacks ground school hard the Friday I went up to VA for the visit/meeting. You know its truly a business meeting when you have to schedule the time you have on "vacation". I am so glad I was able to meet the team
and absorb something bigger than myself. There were so many great people out there all striving to do the same thing and help one another become successful. So many great people to work with and a lot with different backgrounds and talents. It was also great to surprise the mother at midnight (she had no idea her belated wedding anniversary gift was coming at midnight, especially in human form). The reaction photos of mom were quite great... I crawled into her bedroom right after my dad entered and she thought I was my little sister ("...what are you doing crawling? Crazy...") then wrapping around the far side of the bed, I jumped onto the spot next to her and she took 2 seconds to look at me, then realized who I was and proceeded with the dropped jaw and squeal/scream. Twas great.


Is laughing while your mom is still in shock acceptable? Or offensive?

The XS chugging contest was a pretty sweet idea too... although I don't recall ever chugging down anything carbonated after doing the Dizzy Izzy on the baseball bat, it was fun to have a girls' team attempt what I like to call a "Man skill" in itself. I do have to say the highlights from our team was watching Chris Mamaril (quite reminiscent of Chris Kattan's Mango



Plus our Guzzlin Gobblers team was pretty sweet! I haven't seen spirit like that in a while, so the guys the wigs and Hokie Bird costume pumped me up when their intro song was Enter the Sandman! Didn't win, but hey, neither did we. (I mean, who practices chugging?)





The visit was short, brief, but bittersweet. I feel a lot in tune with my family and its easier for us to become more open because we see so little of each other. With the sister going off to college finally, I guess that's why my parents are trying to hang on to every piece of father/motherhood they have while we're present.

Now, with everything that I've learned this weekend, I just wish I could apply it as soon as possible. But just like karma, I have a time crunch and new material with this Strike/Fighter syllabus, and I must once again work on time management. Constant battle... I really wonder how I can pull this business off (granted its my first stages) with flight school almost over and the real job not too far off? It's my pace, but I'm waiting for an open hole so I can expand and have it work for me, because right now... I'm still at the bottom not living up to my weekly goals.

I need more time... I have enough motivation!

Tell Your Parents You Love Them

I just got a call from a friend saying that one of our mutual friends' father just suffered a brain hemmorhage. There were no signs on tests leading into this eruption, I don't think it could have been prevented.

The friend who called attended his father's funeral 3 months ago.

Tell your parents [and everyone close to you] that you love them. At any moment, we could lose them. I know I will... everyday on the phone.

Beer bottle

Sometimes I don't remember the things I write about.
But I was reading some old stuff, and I once compared myself to a beer bottle.

"...Tough exterior, with an emotional interior of a woman to boot.
When shaken, the pressure is too much and then I just want to explode."

Well, I feel more like a water bottle.
My shell is wearing thin and I feel more vulnerable.
I think that is a mistake in the business I'm in.

And... I don't know why but I feel so down in the dumps. I need someone to make me laugh so hard I start hyperventilating. Maybe its just as simple as having a jam session. I dunno.

Aside from sounding so emo, it's April and springtime: almost time to be done with this biznatch.



Happy 1 year anniversary to the start of Flight School Class 0724!

Decisions that aren't Mine to be made

I feel a bit useless.

Maybe it's because my good friend went behind a lot of people's backs and did something that we all do not approve of. There is nothing we can do to stop it and apparently, our advice or input would not have mattered if we had been able to have a say in it.

I feel a bit useless.

What Is To Be

It wasn't until yesterday as I was flipping through a Taste of Home catalog when it dawned on me -- have I really gone this far and not had one of those reality checks? But even doing so, it just makes me turn into this almost-depressed whiny girl with a glisten of optimism for hope.

The pictures in the catalog of the great Napa scenes and surrounded by the presence of a couple of married folks and girls with boyfriends... you know, its like this unwarranted emotion that wears you down. Its when you look over and your very best friend gets that E-Z Bake Oven you've always wanted, you can't help but be jealous and act happy for them at the same time. So I've now been dreaming of the styles, the decor, the house and the view... the potential husbands and even the dream jobs. It is a scary thing when my current career field doesn't even register into the vision. The "glitz and glamour" that accompanies the bomb-dropping description is losing its sparkle which really worries me. I just wish there was a way for me to stay motivated because having myself try to convince me seems to be a battle I am slowly losing.

They say surround yourself with good people, I am doing my best... but what do you do when they are growing up around you faster than you are and you're still in college?

The Light

Is it innocence we see?
Is it what we hide that is "exposed" at day?
For it is the light that falls into revelation...

It is at dusk where second face is left defenseless.
As it is, the light that shines over all now shines over few.
Very different, but wrong of honesty and vulnerability.

Fun in the sun? ...Where is it?

Well, as I type this, I am currently waiting for 6:30 to roll around so I can grab some Thai cuisine before I end up passing out. I don't intend to pass out, however, so I plan to mitigate that with alcohol to make me happy-go-lucky.

This Key West det was not what I was expecting, but then again I didn't have any high expectations coming into this thing. My class flew as a group of observers on Sunday and we were put to work on the 3rd cycle the following day. "Lucky" for me, I had a female instructor. Not a very good for the first radar nav flight, but that's what flight school is about--we keep learning from our mistakes. The det was supposed to move our flight ops down south-er for good weather. But by the time we rolled around, the weather that was supposed to hit Pensacola ended up hitting the southern tip of the Florida peninsula. So whatever we were trying to escape wasn't really escapable. I just think we moved down here to spend money on jet skiing in the winter and getting tan (at least for those first-week guys). We are also doing a K-court tomorrow night which is like a dining-in, but more grown-up I suppose...

I am actually feeling a little homesick... Valentines' Day is tomorrow which really doesn't mean anything to me (its purely commercial) but I also kind of miss my kitty. I'm sure the guys down here are hurting because they are missing their wives for the holiday... and its another taste of military life. Plus Erin and Tom are in town! I wonder how they are doing as they pass through the city towards the great city of Jacksonville.

Just heard of the Prowler crash off the coast of Guam the other day... and this is why we practice these non-standard ops, these contingencies, these emergency procedures, these briefs... day in and day out...

The Reaction Videos were how I caved in

Out of 5 full people, one marine joined me in witnessing one of the most rancid videos of our generation.

2 girls, 1 cup.

We ate a brownie the instant before the viewing, and my reaction was a mixture of laughter and "ewwwww"ing.

No puking. GOOD JOB!

Timing is Everything

Ahh.... time.

The world depends on time. It has been on the minds of great physicists, cartographers, philosophers, scientists, and other great people who seek to explain this basic component which plays such an important part in our lives.

As an Naval Flight Officer, so much depends on timing. In earlier stages of training, we were taught the skills to get from one place to the target. Then you learn to incorporate other factors into your calculations such as the winds, climbs and descents, fuel burn, emergencies, and then other real world contingencies. And in dealing with these unfavorable circumstances, we've got to use tools from the toolbox to fix ourselves, get back on course and drop the bombs on target, on time.

Timing, as you have probably experienced yourself, plays a major part in everyday life as well. I will skip the examples of normal everyday occurrences (like being late to work) and skip to the part where it totally messes with your game.

By game, I mean relationships. Seen that movie Serendipity? Crazy timing in that movie with the characters there. And another thing... I demand to know why I am attracted to unavailable men and not to the single? Is my biological clock ticking? I refuse to believe that is so--I am still considerably young, although the need for women my age to settle down has grown since I've hit young adulthood. I'm still sticking with my plan for 28. That better work, or I will marry Aaren.

Timing is everything... and if you screw up the plan, you've got to figure out a way to get back on the time line, back on to COURSE.

86

First of all let me say my cat is high-strung. He scratches and bites me like crazy.




I'm RST (Radar Simulator Training) complete and ready for the Key West Det starting next week for 2 weeks. We'll be doing canned radar and low levels down there to escape the Pensacola weather this February... a chance for us to be exposed to an unfamiliar field and operations... 75 deg weather, here we come!

As a tribute to the T-2 and their 50th anniversary (and their due replacement the T-45), the squadron did an 8 man echelon flyby and I was asked to video tape their takeoff as well as the 2 practice flybys. It was pretty awesome getting to stand in the middle of the field (of a field that I normally fly out of) and get pushed by the gusty gusty wind. My hands were frozen solid after that taping.

I'm excited. Mainly because I kicked butt on my RST-3 after I didn't do too well with the other ones. This will be fun... I can feel it.

My very own man friend

January 2nd, 2008 - the day after I arrived home from New York

I searched Pensacola
for a kitten
and in the process
I had a milkshake, but...

I found the black kitten.

He was the third one I held
and he reminded me of Socks,
the first cat I read about in school.

So he came home with me
with Auntie Sandy's help,
and he whined
and he whined
and sounded just like the little baby in the track used in
Aalilyah's "Are You That Somebody?"

While he explored the new abode,
I soon realized I didn't block off all the holes in the kitchen...
He found a spot under the dishwasher and it took us 2 hours to get him out.
Then we noticed he was sneezing.
Perhaps the work of the sawdust?

He would NOT STOP SNEEZING. Like... 10 sneezes in one giggity-go.

The next day, I put him in the cardboard box and took him to the vet on base.
Because I left one flap inside the box, it was not fully secure....
and he whined
and he scratched
and he broke through the cardboard whilst in a moving vehicle.
I pulled a Britney and drove with the baby on my lap... just kidding.

Vet says he's sick, he's got a wormie.
So the hardest thing so far has been trying to trick him.
Trick him into eating green pills that happen to taste nasty.

He's a smart one. Lazy, yet smart one.

However, I'm going to try to dumb down the intelligence.

New Year Resolutions?

New Year's Resolutions.... good or bad idea?

If I don't achieve these, I'll feel like a failure, but it isn't the first time ;)

I resolve to
...run 20 miles a month (240 mi by the end of the year)
...read more books, which means...
...read faster
...not eat cookies for a year
...write new songs
...cook a new dish at least biweekly
...take care of new pets
...find love (and that could be anyone or anything)

But it's so easy to just say these things and then once you break one, you take it off the list. I'm going to try not to work that way...
So:
a) I've got the workout log, that'll keep me in check
b) I have a membership at Barnes and Noble and plenty of books to read
c) Reading is reading
d) I have a baking book, but I can start baking for boys now :)
e) I need an inspiration... wings?
f) Haven't decided whether or not to get that delicious. cookbook, or it'll be the recipe from the baking ook
g) Petsmart.com = cats
h) Well, some things you can't guarantee.. ;)

6 months later...

After I-grad, it was a girls heavy weekend. Unusual for the rare female officers like myself, but it was needed... and ended up being a great time. The Saturday after the winging we all watched the movie Enchanted (which I still don't know what to think of that movie... it was so Disney, but it had McDreamy... and I was just all confused. I laughed, so that's what matters in the end I guess)

Following the movies, we went shopping all over the mall and I got sucked into using my Bed Bath & Beyond 20% coupon. It turned into an inspiration, and before long, I was purchasing my new bedroom look (completed it with the desk set I got at the flea market Sunday). Dressed up, went to Bonefish Grill, then out to a martini bar called 600 South in downtown Pensacola. Caught the Improv show at the Silver Screen after all of that. Quite tiresome for me actually.

At Bonefish Grill



Girl shot after the I-grad (VT-4 and VT-10)



The female graduating class of 0725



Started my first week of Advanced Nav Training here in Pensacola still... checked in to VT-86 Sabrehawks and there's already an overwhelming amount of work to be done. The command is working hard to push the Navy folks through in the "crunch" and hold all the AirForce kids so that they can follow the transition of the T-2 to the T-45. To be honest, I'm kind of glad I'm not going to be in that platform after hearing the mishaps that happened this fall which resulted in ejection from the aircraft. I've heard engine malfunctions or birdstrikes but haven't confirmed the causes.

2 Squadron Holiday parties this weekend.. I'm socially booked!
And finally, it feels good to "catch up" with everyone who left VT-4... now we'll be stuck with work and seeing each other workING for the next 6-8 months until we get the heck outta Florida.

It’s Not Even December… and I Already Feel Sad.

So I requested a smaller version of Thanksgiving this year... however, we still had a few family friends over to help us eat all the food (which is a good idea, because a family of 4 would not be able to eat an entire deep fried turkey). Still working on trying to get the "traditional" sit down dinner and prayer thing down, but maybe Papa'll be coached by then.

So the look for the table went something like this:




During dinner, we took a couple of pictures...



There isn’t a greater feeling than going home and seeing your family for the holidays… especially if its been almost a year. It almost feels like a deployment and I’m coming home to see how everything changed. You know, how many inches your sister gains on you; how many inches your mother shrinks; whether or not your parents, uncles, or aunties tried a different hair dye this season to cover those gray hairs; if the house had new additions to up the value… stuff like that.

I began this blog in the car coming from a haircut. I didn't know I'd actually tear up afterwards writing the rest of it. I didn't expect it, but waiting to pass through the check-in gate, I kept trying to stop the hot feeling in my eyes, especially in front of my dad, who if I see cries, I'll just join in for the bawling too.

As I come closer and closer to realizing that Thanksgiving was the last I'll see of my family in the years filled with these long gaps of solidarity (yes, I think I know that was a run-on sentence), the more sad I get. No family for Christmas! That's so... unheard of. I don't even have a boyfriend! So I can't spend it with someone or anything like that... not that I'm going to be desperada and look for a Christmas date, but man.

Damm Airport Security. Stole my swiss army knife.

I Love Deep Fried Turkey.. but boy does it make me sleepy

It is so good to actually be home, sleeping in my old bed (which is a grand ol' queenie size) and just chill with my family for the holidays. Its a lot different now, because to me it actually seemed like I was opening up a little bit just because of the fact I have a kick ass job (or because I'm in a place where I'll be ABLE to do kick ass things), I feel like they actually can see my funny side.

Thanksgiving day was all kitchen. We prepared frozen pies, some traditional Thanksgiving food like ham, cranberry sauce... and the deep fried turkey. Then the rest was the easy Filipino treats like embotido. I tasted Lambrusco for the first time and even with the few uncles and aunties there to share with us, we had plenty of food to last us a week. Too bad I can't stay that long.

I'm up a little early because I actually passed out during guitar hero.. it most probably was the tryptophan that knocked me out--but anyways, we have to get up for Black Friday anyways. Supposed to be REALLY busy on I 95, but I'll go through the pain for little 'yelle. She's not even that little... she's taller than me, and she can drive. How did I miss that? She also can figure out the Rubik's cube like I can figure out sudoku, which she can't. She's been teaching me (or rather, TRYING to teach me) how to solve the damn thing, but I must be retarded. I fail to see the relationships between the different colored faces on the toy.

I hope this vacation doesn't lead me to fail Monday's flight.. I haven't pulled my flight manual out yet to study, and I've got until Sunday....

GO HOKIES! BEAT UVA!

It's Almost Thanksgiving

3 more days, and I'm on my way home!

I'll write more later... I should really be studying for my T-1 flight.

Extreme weather

Hey happy people! Its me, enjoying the week off from flying because of an early finish from the T-6A Texan II. For now I'm just studying ahead, learning the T-1 Jayhawk, my transition trainer jet.

I just wanted to mention its been some crazy weather lately. My forms partner, Ted, and I were lucky to squeeze out our last forms low level last wednesday (after being cancelled a bunch due to weather). We had a clearing up on a Friday and Then Saturday was a pretty sunny day until the evening, where the crap came back. Since then, we have experienced a tornado that hit a Day Care center in Downtown Pensacola, massive rains and thunderstorms. Flood watches are almost every night, a tornado hit the Mobile area last night, and on the satellite map it looks as if somebody crapped primary colors all over the panhandle and Mobile bay area.

This morning, the sky was red. I took a picture of it and I'm sure I'll upload it later, but it looked like doomsday. It was a little breezy outside so I went back inside to get ready for my eye appt..... then I walked outside not 5 min later and there was torrential downpour. What is going on?

Right now, CNN is on the tube and Southern California is experiencing some major fire damage. Right now about 300,000 confirmed have been evacuated from their homes and most are seeking shelter right now at the Qualcomm Stadium where the SD Chargers play. I think it was yesterday when Ysmaelle mentioned that celebrities were leaving their million dollar mansions to evacuate and seek other shelter. The air has gotten bad and the Californians are wearing masks because of the quality--it looks like a SARS outbreak all over again.

The horrible weather and Sigmet action over the field has really slowed down the training at the wing, as they are only getting I think 10% of their schedule up in the air. If it fares good this weekend, they'll be flying Saturday again. I just don't know what is going on with this... we're flooding here and SoCal is drying and burning up. There's even a reporter right now covering the fire and pointing out his own house burning down. That is so horrible. So sad.

Pray for the victims of this extremely crazy weather. Is mother nature seriously testing us?

Happy Birthday Sailors!

So I realize that I have not been keeping up with the blog like I used to in API (what a shame), but I will try to update it every now and then when I get a chance. Right now it's the weekend before my low level formation flights then i get to wait awhile until I drop the T-6 and learn the T-1s. A bunch of us have rolled back on account of bad weather for VNAV low levels, but there's really nothing we could have done about it, so we're all embracing this rollback, ready to enjoy the couple of days of relaxation we have fun back to work again. A week or so in ground school and then 8 flights in the T-1s for more helmet fire.

I just had to note the fact that Sandy and I went to Coyote's bar by the mall and participated in a TK 101 (radio station) Guitar Hero Contest. Apparently they have these every Wednesday where you can win a 25 dollar bar tab and other things, but they had this one on a Saturday and it turned out to be some kind of gambling game... almost like we were at the dogtracks! Sandy and I were the 2 out of the 3 girls who tried out for the competition, out of 16 contenders. Zach didn't make it, but Sandy and I were able to battle it out to the quarterfinals... and I was dubbed the best female performer because of scores. I never thought I'd actually attend something like this, but it was pretty fun... we drank, played GH, bet on dudes who looked a lot more serious about it than we ever did (with their GH or Jedi shirts).

Looking forward to Thanksgiving, whenever the Navy decides to ever approve that.
And oh by the way,

HAPPY 232nd BIRTHDAY, U.S. NAVY!

Sneak-up

Looking at pictures that people from sea are showing off, makes me remember that time that I was asked by the Skipper to conn the ship during an UNREP (Underway Replenishment)... and now 2 years later I'm already a year in the navy as an officer, and I've gotten to the point where I'm comfortable in the plane. I've got VNAVs and then Formation flights left then T-1s to learn next. Lucky enough though to pick up CCXes to Austin/San Antonio for the McCaw wedding and then to San Diego for surfing lessons. Sweet all around.

It's been a long road so far, the light at the end of the tunnel is almost there...

Reminisce

My... how things have changed!

About this time last year, I was gearing up to make the move my parents were dreading ever since I was born. I had been learning to slowly ease off their care and take care of myself so the transition wouldn't be too bad...

1 year later...

I'm in my 3rd phase of training here as a student NFO, I've truly met my share of people here in the Navy, Marine Corps, Coast Guard, and Air Force... its just like the military. You see em come, you see em go.

I miss Virginia Tech though. The atmosphere is what I miss the most, not the studying there. The camaraderie, the closeness... its definitely changed since I've been there with all the news streaming out from just the one town of Blacksburg. A lot of good memories and friends made.

I need to find my own.